II. LESSON CONTENT: Boy-Girl Relationship

Materials
Cassette recorder and activity card

Sources
Sawyer, Kieran. SEX AND THE TEENAGER: Choices the Decision, Ave Maria Press, Notre Dame, 1992.

Pro-Life Philippines. Youth for life: True love waits, Pandacan, Manila, 1992

Weiderkehr, Macrina. "Love is not Blind"

Silver Burdett Publishing Co., New Jersey, 1979.

A. Preliminary Activity (Moodsetting) Love Quiz
Ask the students to answer the Love Quiz. Tell them to write TRUE. If they agree with the statement and FALSE if they disagree with the statement . The teacher will give the answer to the quiz. After the quiz ask them the following questions:

LOVE QUIZ

Read each statement carefully. Write TRUE if you agree and FALSE if you disagree with it.

__________ 1. “Love at first sight” occurs between some people.

__________ 2. It’s easy to distinguish real love from infatuation.

__________ 3. People who sincerely love each other will not fight and argue.

__________ 4. I believe that fate selects one particular person for each of us to marry, and that it will guide us together.

__________ 5. If a man and a woman genuinely love each other, then hardships and troubles will have little or no effect on their relationship.

_________ 6. It’s better to marry the wrong person than to remain single and lonely throughout life.

________ 7. I believe that it is not sinful to have sexual intercourse before marriage if the couple has a meaningful relationship.

__________ 8. If a couple is truly in love, that condition is permanent and will last a lifetime.

__________ 9. Short courtship, six months or less, are best.

__________ 10. Teenagers are more capable of genuinely love than are older people.

B. ACTIVITY: LOVE NOTES

The students will be asked to imagine that they are TV/Radio counselors whose task is to give advice to letter senders. Tell them that eight (8) volunteers are needed to be the love counselors. Each one will read and later on give his/her own advice to the letters sent by the imaginary teenagers who have problems in their respective relationships.

Dear_____________________,
What can you say about couples who are too sweet in public. They even kiss and hug in public.
Anong say mo dito?

Love,
Mr. Observer

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Dear______________________,

My classmates are teasing me that “I am the only virgin in the world.” Hindi na raw uso ang virgin. I don’t want to be left out. What should I do?

Love,
Babes

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Dear______________________,

My girlfriend and I are both 2nd year students. Yesterday we went to the doctor and found out that she is two months pregnant. Ano ang gagawin namin? Please help.

Love,
Jack and Jill

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Dear______________________,

Ever since I answered Rico, my school grades are going down. I can’t concentrate kasi eh – he is always in my mind. Tell me what to do.

Love,
Ms. Seventy Three

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Dear______________________,

My boyfriend is asking me to have a sex with him. He told me that this is the only way to prove my love for him. I don’t want to lose him.

Love,
Ms. P.M.S.

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Dear______________________,

My problem is galit na naman kami ng girlfriend ko because she wants me to visit her in their home. Bakit ganoon eh, niligawan at pinasagot ko lang naman siya sa phone tapos pinapapunta pa niya ako sa bahay nila. Bad trip talaga!!!

Love,
Goliath

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Dear______________________,

I have a big crush on my classmate, Amanda. I really want to court her but I am nervous. Sa palagay mo anu-ano ba ang qualities na hinahamap ng babae sa isang lalaking tulad ko?

Love,
Mr. Maginoo

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Dear______________________,

My boyfriend and I spend most of the time hugging, kissing and touching. We seldom talk about ideas and our plans in life. I even started telling lies to my parents just to be with him. It seems that I am losing control but I can’t resist him. Send your advice right away please!!!!

Love,
Miss Philippines

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Dear_____________________,

This coming Saturday I have a big date. To tell you frankly this is my first time to date a girl. Can you recommend places where I can bring her?

Love,
Mr. First Time

C. ANALYSIS

Affective

1. What did you feel while giving the advice?
2. Do you agree with the advice given? Why?

Cognitive

1. Based on the love notes activity, what are the common problems encountered by teenagers in a boy-girl relationship?
2. How are teenagers affected by this problems?
3. Why do you think teenagers face these kind of problems?

Behavioral

1. What can you do to avoid these problems in your relationship with the opposite sex?

D. ABSTRACTION

Introduce to the class these ideas.

Probably nothing in life is as important to us as our relationship with other people. Most of our joys and most of our problems come from the way we relate to people. The four basic kind of relationships and their distinction from one another will help us understand how they affect us in real life situation.

The F in L.I.F.E. stands for FRIENDSHIP. We all need friends at every stage of our lives but we especially need them during the teen years. Friends are people who we can talk to, go places with , tells secret to, and above all, trust. We depend on our friends for companionship, fun and laughter, challenge, respect and understanding. There is another kind of relationship that becomes extremely important in our teen years, romantic INFATUATION, the I of L.I.F.E. It includes any kind of relationship that involves sexual attraction or sexual feelings. Infatuation is characterized by such thing as absorption, jealousy, day dreams, loss of appetite, exclusiveness, possessiveness, fickleness and the need for constant nearness and reassurance. The L in L.I.F.E. is LOVE. It is characterized by wonderful qualities like commitment, understanding, acceptance, forgiveness, sensitivity, consideration, patience, trust, self-sacrifice, permanence, kindness, compassion and deep mutual trust. The last kind of relationship in L.I.F.E. is EXPLOITATION. It is relationship based on selfishness. We exploit people when we use, abuse, blackmail or manipulate them to get what we want.

During adolescent years you will be making many choices and decisions involving these four kind of relationships – decisions that will affect your entire life. It is extremely important that you recognize the differences among them, not just in theory but in real-life situations. What you think is love might turn out to be only infatuation or even exploitation. The result of this very common mistake such as pre-marital sex, teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease and guilt and disappointment could be devastating for you and for other people. To help us better understand the difference between love and infatuation let us decipher the set of letters below.

T HH HK PK ST SI

The first set shows the natural progression of a relationship of sexual love from talking to holding hands to hugs and kisses to passionate kissing to sexual touches and to sexual intercourse. It also indicate the development of I or a romantic infatuation. On the other hand, the second set of letter.

S A C F IF RL

Shows the natural progression from friendship to love. From stranger; acquaintance-someone whose name you know; companion-someone to do things with: friend – trust and sharing; intimate friend – deep trust and emotional intimacy; real love – unconditional acceptance and commitment.

Here are some tips on how to develop a healthy relationship with the opposite sex:

1. Set limits. Let the other person know how you feel about expressions of affection. At the same time don’t give out mixed signals. Wearing tight, revealing, sexy clothes can give your partner the wrong message.

2. Avoid tempting situations. You should avoid circumstances that could lead to temptation, such as being alone in a house, an apartment, or a parked automobile with someone you are dating.

3. Say no and meant it. If a situation becomes too "heated", have the sense to say NO!- and mean it! As one 20-year-old woman who gave in to having sexual relations said: "If you don’t walk away, you’ll be sorry!"

4. Develop a close friendship with God. Know Him as a real person with feelings, it will help you avoid conduct that offends Him. Pouring out your heart to him about specific problems draws you close to Him.

A healthy relationship with opposite sex entails control over the powerful emotion and knowing the limits/boundaries around the expression of your sexuality. Remember, true love waits!.

APPLICATION:
Personal Commitment Making Ask student to read and analyze the Responsible Boy-Girl Creed. Afterwards, each student will make a personal commitment based on the creed presented. (See attached Responsible Boy-Girl Creed)

I Am a Responsible Girl

1. My kisses are worth more than party or a movie.
2. My body is the temple of God- not a play thing.
3. The first “NO” may be difficult. After that it’s easy.
4. Virginity is still a virtue; lust is still a capital sin.
5. The way I dress, act and speak may be a temptation to my boyfriend. I will observe modesty for his and my own protection.
6. My parents have done so much for me I wish always to be a credit to them.
7. My boyfriend will be a husband and a father someday.
8. He must be a hero in the eyes of his wife and children. I will do nothing to prevent that on my dates with him.
9. I want to be a wife and a mother. I will reserve my purity and affection for my husband and children
10. If I through my weakness, I should get pregnant, I will not take “ the easy way out” by killing my unborn child

I Am a Responsible Boy

1. The parents of my girlfriend place their trust in me. I will not violet it.
2. I will respect my girlfriend as I expect other men to respect my sister.
3. I will respect womanhood because my mother is a woman: I will not ask my girlfriend to do anything that I would be ashamed of it my mother found out.
4. My girlfriend has given me the honor and pleasure of her company. It is wrong for me to expect more in payment for this date.
5. My girlfriend will be a wife and mother someday. She must be an example to her children and the pride of her husband. I will help her to be pure and decent as I want my own wife to be.
6. Manhood means strength of character as well as body. Lack of self-control is a sign of weakness. I want my girlfriend to know I am manly.
7. God is everywhere. He sees everything. Knows everything. Darkness may hide me from people, but it cannot hide me from God.
8. If through lack of self-control, I should get a girl pregnant, I will not pressure on her to kill our unborn child.

From now on, I am committed to ______________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________

IV. EVALUATION: Sentence Completion

After knowing the difference between love and infatuation, I realized that______________________________________________________________.
To maintain a healthy relationship with the opposite sex. I intend to
__________________________________________________________________.
I also believe that we can avoid pre-marital sex by________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

V. CLOSING ACTIVITY:

Ask the student to sing the song "Somebody" along with the tape player.

Somebody
By Depeche Mode

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who’ll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She’ll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She’ll hear me out
And won’t easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she’ll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
Aaaahhhhh....
I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who’ll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don’t want to be tied
To anyone’s strings
I’m carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I’m asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I’ll get away with it
Aaaahhhhh....

CE/GMRC For Grade 4
(Revised Edition)